Oxymoron: sweet sorrow
Oxymoron: sanitary landfill
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Oxymoron: tight slacks
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off NOW.
A bartender is a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Oxymoron: advanced BASIC
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.