Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals!"
Q: How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: What's a lightbulb?
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? A: Big holes all over Australia.
Q: How many students does it take to change a light bulb? A: Will this question be on the test?
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world...perhaps you've seen it.
No matter what temperature the room is, it's always "room temperature."
You know you're a geek if... you watch Star Trek every day, and look for small errors.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food I eat it.