I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
You know you're a geek if... you window shop at Radio Shack.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
My spouse complains that I never listen...or something like that.
Believe in your dreams... except the one in which you go to work naked.
One person who has a mind and knows it can always beat ten people who haven't and don't.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
If you usually order black coffee, why not try some of the other colors?
So, this guy walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"