I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
A job worth doing is worth complaining about.
If it weren't for Edison we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
No one is as weird as he thinks he is. Everyone is weirder than others think he is.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
Hookt On Fonicks Werked Four Me!
Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.