If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.
Whose idea was it to put an S in the word 'lisp'?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says, Does this taste funny to you?
Why do we keep reopening the refrigerator with the hope that something new to eat has materialized?
Why do some people believe when you say there are four billion stars, but always check when you say there's wet paint?
Doc, I can't stop singing The Green Green Grass of Home. That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome. Is it common? It's Not Unusual.
Why in winter do we keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, Sorry, we don't serve food here.
Why do we press harder on a remote control button when the batteries are weak?