Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.
The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights.
When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.
It's better to be looked over than overlooked.