All dogs look up to you. All cats look down to you. Only a pig looks at you as an equal.
It's more fun contemplating somebody else's navel than your own.
When bad ideas have nowhere else to go, they emigrate to America and become university courses.
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. That is what makes America what it is.
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except my blinding headaches.
I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.
Aerobics: I guess gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge ten dollars an hour, we can't call it 'jumping up and down'."
Never put anything on paper.
Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.