Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or another.

Frank Muir

Dogs, like horses, are quadrupeds. That is to say, they have four rupeds, one at each corner, on which they walk.

Larry Reeb

They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?

I wanted to be an arch-criminal as a child, before I discovered I was too short.

The penalty for laughing in the courtroom is six months in jail. If it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Leo Rosten

His cooking suggested he had attended the Cordon noir.

Conscience is that inner voice that warns us someone might be looking.


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