Is that your lower lip or are you wearing a turtle-neck sweater?

Why don't you go down to the morgue and tell them you're ready!

George Bush

It's no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or the other.

Ellen DeGeneres

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls, and they say, "Because it's such a beautiful animal." Well, I think my mother's attractive, but I have photographs of her.

E. V. Lucas

Strange as it may seem, among all the billions of countenances with two eyes, a nose in the middle, and a mouth below, no two precisely resemble each other.

David Letterman

Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt -- and that's just in the hot dogs.

Kin Hubbard

The person who owns his own home is always coming out of a hardware store.


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