Dave Barry

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

Hank Aaron

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf.

If anyone speaks badly of you, live so no one will believe it.

James Madison

I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the rights of the people by the gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations.


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