A liar's worst misfortune is not that no one believes him, but that he can't believe anyone else.
We are all liars. Even those who never lie to others, lie to themselves.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
The letters worth keeping are those that should never have been written.
It's against the law to send threatening letters through the mail, unless you're the Internal Revenue Service.
Some of us get letters after our names, but more of us get letters after our money.
Don't you hate it when you read the wrong chapter and learn something the teacher won't test you on?
The great secret of life is to learn lessons, not to teach them.
Leisure is the time you spend on jobs you don't get paid for.
We spend half our lives trying to find something to do with the time we saved rushing through the other half.