Jerry Garcia

Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

A great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

Dick Clark

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

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