George Carlin

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

George Carlin

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

George Carlin

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do whales look the way they do?

George Carlin

Why do the signs that say 'Slow Children' have a picture of a running child?

George Carlin

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game' when we are already there?

George Carlin

Daylight savings time... Why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

George Carlin

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

George Carlin

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

George Carlin

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

George Carlin

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called 'rush hour'?

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