Marriage is a good deal like a circus: There is not as much in it as represented in the advertising.

Earl of Chesterfield

The only solid and lasting peace between a man and his wife is, doubtless, a separation.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her, or she'll take it anyway.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and wide open afterwards.

David Pryce-Jones

When you're bored with yourself, marry, and be bored with someone else.

Farmer's Almanac Magazine

A man does not have to be a bigamist to have one wife too many.

Kids are like husbands. They're fine as long as they're someone else's.

Juanita Kreps

I'd like to get to the point where I can be just as mediocre as a man.


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