Whenever I feel like exercising, I lie down until the feeling passes.
I get my exercise acting as a pall-bearer to my friends who exercise.
No one has ever actually called a cat. They come when they wish.
Horses: Dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle
The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon.
Journalism could be described as turning one's enemies into money.
God save all here, barring the cat.
Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, I saw, I conquered.
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'Damn...that was fun!'
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: 'Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!'