A dentist is a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.
Auditors watch a battle from the safety of a hillside and when the battle is over, come down to count the dead and bayonet the wounded.
An observatory is where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.
Consultants are people who borrow your watch to tell you the time and then walk off with it.
Economists are people who think that the poor need them to tell them that they are poor.
Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.
Accounting is a malicious extension of the banking conspiracy.
An actuary is someone who moved out of accounting because he couldn't stand the excitement.
He's called a broker because after you deal with him that's exactly what you are.
Lawyers and painters can soon turn white to black.