Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers.
Q: Why did pilgrims' pants always fall down? A: Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A: A stick.
Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes: whack, dang! A bad skydiver goes: dang! whack.
Q: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? A: Dam!
Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? A: Quattro sinko.
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Right where you left him.
Q: How do you get holy water? A: You boil the hell out of it.
You are 87 percent water. The other 13 percent keeps you from drowning.
All these new girls are so trashy... and do I get a thank-you note?