If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc jockey is not allowed to talk.
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
Original thought is like original sin: Both happened before you were born to people you could not possibly have met.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Sleep is death without the responsibility.
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.