Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and woman -- and the other 10 percent I wasted.

Bernard Bailey

When they discover the center of the Universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

Adam Phillips

The art of family life is to not take it personally.

One can resist the invasion of armies, but not the invasion of ideas.

I don't know jokes; I just watch the government and report the facts.


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