Everything east of the San Andreas Fault will eventually plunge into the Atlantic Ocean.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you're with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Darrell Royal

Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your hip pockets for fish.

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.

John Hawkins

2 + 2 = 4, unless you're talking about the inches of a 2-by-4 board.

You must pay for your sins. If you've already paid, please disregard this notice.

Hit the ball over the fence and you can take your time going around the bases.

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